Chocolate Milk, Cheetos and Bingo

As a part-time job before I head off to college, I take care of a 91-year-old woman. Let me tell you a little bit about Mary.

She's the exact picture of a little old lady. Her maybe 100-pound body sits upright in a wheelchair, and her hands keep warm under a handmade blue-and-white checkered fleece blanket. She wears cataract glasses that darken in the sunshine, and always has a spare Kleenex up her sleeve. Her hair is white as snow and is kept out of her face by a pink butterfly clip. I'm pretty sure her teeth are false and that she smoked in her younger days, but I never asked. Her voice is very, very deep and, to be honest, it scared me the first time she opened her mouth.

She doesn't talk too much about her past or other things I would expect someone who's lived so long to recall (things like presidents, wars, or historic events). In fact, most of the stories she tells are simple memories about her family or her job as a school lunch lady.

I don't remember exactly how many years ago she said it was, but one day while working at school, Mary fell down the stairs and broke her hip (and she worked there till she was in her 80's!). That was the end of her career and the reason she's left in a wheelchair living with her daughter and son-in-law. Besides that, her health is great and her mind is quick as a whip.

For her, life is all about routine. She wakes up everyday around 8:30, has coffee with breakfast, then takes her morning meds. On Tuesdays and Thursdays, the nurse comes to give her a bath. She has an afternoon nap, eats half a sandwich for lunch, takes regular bathroom breaks and, in the meantime, watches the animal world outside. She eats an early-bird supper and never misses the evening showing of "Jeopardy" and "Wheel of Fortune." At 8 o'clock sharp, she's in bed.

Mary can't wait for me to come. I get there everyday at 2:00pm and leave once her daughter gets home around 5:30. The first thing Mary makes me do is blow out the scented candle that the morning sitter lights. Mary says, "I hate that thing. Makes me sick." The next thing on the agenda is to read what she calls the "Bible," or her daily health journal that the morning sitter writes in before she leaves for the day. Invariably, after I read the entry out loud, Mary makes faces at the comments  the previous caregiver writes and sums up her disgust with a, "She's crazy! Stupid book."

The days are slow, so to help pass time we drink chocolate milk, eat Cheetos, and play Bingo.

We each play two cards, and I've figured out that one game of Bingo lasts approximately 15 minutes. We usually will go for a good hour and a half, sometimes even two. She takes it pretty seriously but prefers we both win some and lose some. There are, however, days when Mary will win every single game. When I ask her how she does it, she always responds with the same expression and line, "I can't help it if I'm lucky."

Needless to say, she keeps me laughing and I keep her young. That's more or less the essence of our friendship.

I've asked her a few times about God, and she does believe in Him. She said she's a Christian and grew up going to church. She did tell me once that she prays every night and that God answers her prayers. She knows what she believes and no one, at this point, could convince her otherwise. For example, one time the chaplain came for a visit and Mary pretended to fall asleep so he would leave and not talk to her. That's pretty typical of her... playing jokes and doing things that make others laugh. But she's also full of wisdom and every so often throws out her two-cents worth.

She's told me how important it is to work hard, take good care of my family, and give back what you can to others. But I have learned even more from just watching her and listening to the things she doesn't necessarily "say."

I've learned patience. I've learned to slow down at times. I've learned to thank God more often for my health. I've learned to notice the birds. I've learned that laughter is, indeed, the best medicine. I've learned that simple stuff matters.

There's a quote from George Washington Carver that I just love. He said, "How far you go in life depends on your being tender with the young, compassionate with the aged, sympathetic with the striving and tolerant of the weak and strong. Because someday in your life you will have been all of these."

The best way for us to be "tender, compassionate, sympathetic and tolerant" is to look to and imitate the One who is perfect in His handling of us, the "young, aged, striving, the weak and strong."

God needs to be our number one priority and therefore a large part of our daily routine. There is so much He has to teach us, but we will only learn if we give Him the time of day He deserves. Sometimes, He may speak aloud to us. Other times, we learn best by watching Him work in our life or in the lives of those we know. Certain times, we learn by listening to Him in the silence.

Mary's voice scared me the first time because it was not what I was expecting to hear. Don't get yourself in that kind of a bind with God. Welcome Him with an expectant heart and learn to be in tune to His voice.

"But if not, then listen to me; be silent, and I will teach you wisdom."    Job 33:33

It's a rather simple principle: the more time you spend with God, the better your relationship is with Him.

That's how it has come to be with Mary and me. What we have is something special, and I wouldn't trade it for the world. True, there are a hundred other things I could think to do instead of sitting with her for nearly three hours every day, but she is too important for me to give her up. She tells me how much she enjoys my company and how much she misses me when I'm not there next to her.

What if we have that same attitude toward God? It's easy to come up with a list of stuff to do other than reading your Bible, but God should be too important in your life for you to skip spending time with Him. He misses you terribly when you leave or when you choose something else above simply being with Him.

I can see it now... one of these days, Mary and I will both be sitting with God at His table drinking chocolate milk while eating Cheetos and playing a game of Bingo.

What a moment that will be.

-Rachel